I have arrived at this place
Right here where I am
In my own time and space
Everything else does surround
Emitting myself and all of the things
I have ever collected or found
Now as I look high above
I set it all free
Fly away on the wings of a dove
People come here expecting poems so here's a poem.
It's a bone poem.
Right here where I am
In my own time and space
Everything else does surround
Emitting myself and all of the things
I have ever collected or found
Now as I look high above
I set it all free
Fly away on the wings of a dove
People come here expecting poems so here's a poem.
It's a bone poem.
4 Comments:
Rob,
I desided that I would take a little break from my writing to see what you were up to. As per our discussion on my Blog, here is my crit.
I really like the begining couple of lines, it flows really nicely. The smae with the last two lines.
The middle I found myself reading it a couple times before I felt I understood what you were trying to say. This can be dangrous in a poem.
Over all though I really like this poem, once I got a grasp of everthing. Or as much as I'm going to when I this tired :).
Terry
The White Wall
http://mcleans.dnsalias.com/whitewall/
I'm not sure if you planned this or not, but the blog looked different tonight. All the links were at the bottom. I found it easier when they were along the side.
But that's just my opinion
Terry
The White Wall
http://mcleans.dnsalias.com/whitewall/
I know what you mean it has to be read a couple of times in order to establish the proper cadence.It's bothersome and I know I need to work on that with much of what I write.
Thanks Terry
This could work out well.
Huh,am I having technical type difficulties here with the layout.It's fine on Firefox browser I no like IE anymore but i guess I'll try it.Anyone else having problems?Are my links messed up?That won't do at all. No No No.
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